I *have* to give this one star, I wish I didn't
Winston Wolf | St. Louis, MO USA | 09/25/2007
(1 out of 5 stars)
"OK, maybe that was a little harsh, One star for the beautiful location. That gets shown so little in the movie, they could have shot it on a sound stage and just called it the beach.
The plot revolves around some troubled kids who kick it on a beach in the Caribbean to help them deal with their issues. One of them "claims" to be a witch. Flashback time! One of them "claims" to be a witch. I swear, that happens in the movie, we see a scene, then less than 5 minutes, we have a flashback to the scene. Flashbacks are great to use if you're starting a sequel, but in the same movie, I find it an insult to the audience, made even worse by the amount of time gone by between seeing it once and flashing back to it. As immature as this may sound, I'm a guy, and this is an R-Rated low budget spooky movie. That usually involves some form or another of female nudity, which doesn't make or break a movie in my book, it just adds a little more to it. Like I read elsewhere, you can have a bad movie, then you can have a bad movie with nudity. This doesn't make it a better movie, just adds a little something to it. This has none. Trust me, it needed it. It needed something to make it better than it is.
It looks like the cast wanted a vacation, and ended up being forced into shooting this movie. Personally, I would have passed on the holiday if it involved making this movie. I would have rather taken my vacation in NILBOG (if you know what that means, you have my sympathy)
Rent or buy? Neither, just leave it alone. I rented it at a dollar rental place, and want my dollar back plus the time wasted in sitting through it."
Tropical turkey
astrorev | Sacramento, CA USA | 03/20/2009
(1 out of 5 stars)
"For those that have seen David DeCoteau's other movies, some differences are definitely noticeable in Witches of the Caribbean. For one, it features females, and following his signature formula, there are a number of scenes of them in their underwear. Usually he features young good looking males running around in their skivvies, and he still retains a couple hunks in this movie, but females are the stars of this film. Also noticeable is an improvement in the acting department, just barely B grade in quality, but definitely better than in most of his other films. Even the cinematography and editing show signs of improvement over his prior works. But the gains stop here. The story line is downright boring, and following another one of his formulas, the "scary" moments drag on and on and on, losing whatever tension may have been there. In reality I'll give it one and a half stars, especially because of some improvements, but he's really going to have to come up with an more engaging story to start ranking two stars in my book."