Five college friends choose to spend their vacation debauching at the riverside. They find the perfect place to camp out, but end up crossing paths with twin brothers Simon and Stanley, who then begin to knock off the camp... more »ers in some extremely creative (and extremely gruesome) ways. Enjoy the splatter.« less
Crispin (George McFly!) Glover stars in this hillbilly horror flick as a homicidal redneck picking off a bunch of stupid horny teenagers in the backwoods. The script and acting were mostly laughable but MAN the gore was off the charts in this one. Definitely worth a look for you splatter hounds.
1 of 1 member(s) found this review helpful.
James B. (wandersoul73) from LINDALE, TX Reviewed on 6/29/2009...
A pretty enjoyable horror/comedy. Crispin Glover does a great job playing both twins.
1 of 1 member(s) found this review helpful.
Movie Reviews
Good for fans of slasher horror -and no one else
Amanda | Dallas, Texas | 06/26/2009
(3 out of 5 stars)
"I'll admit that I wasn't really sure what to expect from this movie. It sat on the shelf for three years before Lionsgate decided to finally release it -- straight to DVD. I'm somewhat of a fan of crappy slasher horror movies, mostly of the Evil Dead II variety, and I hoped that Simon Says might be able to give me something new to chew on between viewings of the Sam Raimi classic. It does -- sort of.
Simon Says contains virtually every cliche of '80s slasher horror movies. In fact, this film is something of a tribute to those over-to-the-top gore fests. This time, a group of five stereotypical college students (the slut, the straight-laced Asian, the jock, the stoner, and the girl the serial killer is obsessed with) go out into the secluded mountains for a summer camp adventure. Of course, we all know that this leads to drinking, drugs, and a ridiculous amount of sex.
Once the movie gets past 30 minutes of boring (and pretty much unneeded) exposition, the serial killer, Simon, makes his move. After attacking one of the college students, he takes out another group of nameless campers who have absolutely no connection to the plot. While this scene is utterly random, it is the best one in the film. Simon kills off a collection of people in highly creative, and highly gruesome, ways (pick-axe, anyone?) that'll make you cringe and laugh at the same time. The gore and the blood are done in such a ridiculous style that you have to laugh at the simple fact that it could never happen.
One by one Simon kills off the college students until he is left with his "dream girl." Once virtually all of the characters have been killed off, the movie gets a little flat. The writers attempt to throw in a twist at the end, build the intensity, and make the viewers actually care about the campers. Honestly, by this point I just wanted to see more crazy violence; instead it felt like the writers were trying too hard to make the movie into something that it isn't.
Crispin Glover, by far, steals the show as Simon. While his Southern accent is hardly believable, his performance is spot-on and laughably bone-chilling. This is honestly the best performance I have ever seen from him. He pulls off the creepy, disturbed serial killer well and makes viewers wish that there was more of him and his crazy killing antics than the attempt at a plot.
This movie has both things that have come to define the slasher horror genre: blood and gore... and boobs, but with a surprising lack of the latter. Yet it also has no intensity, no surprises, horribly corny dialogue, and barely a shred of originality (completely committed to the violence).
Simon Says is a polarizing movie. Fans of '80s slasher horror movies and of absurd gore-fest movies will think that it's perfect for taking up a Friday night when you have nothing else to do -- just grab some friends who like these kinds of movies, some alcohol, and a bag of popcorn and you're good to go. However, if you are not a fan of slasher movies or are expecting a horror movie that's actually scary, Simon Says will be an hour and a half of pure pain."
Disappointing
Francis Darmawan | Bellevue, WA USA | 10/09/2009
(2 out of 5 stars)
"I am still new to the horror movie genre, and maybe I'm a noob at this. But, seriously the movie is nowhere near good. Crispin Glover does what he does best, I can recognize his psychotic face from a mile away and still run like hell. But, the story line and the graphics quality was disappointing. The first few minutes watching the movie I thought "This is not going to go well" but then I realize the name Blake Lively on the cover and was relieved. "Thank goodness" I said, but then I sat through the whole movie only to see Blake enter 5 minutes in the end saying a few lines, looking hot as usual, and capiche. End of movie."
I had fun with it...
G. Stanley | Paola, KS | 09/20/2009
(4 out of 5 stars)
"If only there was more low budget horror flicks that could deliver like this one... Cheesy, Campy, and Crispin Glover... All in all this film was a riot, for anyone who enjoys a little humor in their horror this one's a MUST."
Not worth it.
Donald A. Prentiss | minneapolis, mn United States | 09/05/2009
(2 out of 5 stars)
"I like Crispin Glover and i am a huge horror and genre fan, but this movie was weak, really weak. I like movies sometimes that are bad, because they are bad in a way that is funny or even enjoyable. This was a movie that was bad and after it was over I say "I just wasted an hour and a half (or however long it was) of my life on this crap!""
Simon Says would you Like a Hand Sandwich
Dayna Newman | Tampa | 06/25/2009
(3 out of 5 stars)
""Simon Says"Gives you a big dose of over the top acting by Crispin Glover .although effective for the role's he's playing,Psychotic twins that killed they're parents as children and now live in the woods where they have set booby trap after booby trap that effectively kill quite a few people who just want to camp and have a good time in grisly ways .
The cast is good and the acting is well done.Of course there is that element of dark humor that ensues with alot of the slashers today,That's one reason Glovers performance works,it's not to be taken too seriously but seriously enough to delight the slasher fan.,Blake Lively of gossip Girl is only in the film for about 3 minutes so I don't know why she was even used.
There is gore galore and that's always good because that's why we watch these movies , that combined with good characters and story..
There's a scene where a boy is burned alive that is particularly disturbing but the rest of the kills are good but usual slasher fare.The weapon of choice a pick axe"no, we haven't seen that recently "BUT anyway it still kept my attention and I will watch it again.
Bottom line is if you're a slasher fan and especially a slasher in the woods slasher fan or a Crispin Glover fan you won't be dissapointed by this movie.