Search - Mars Needs Women on DVD

Yeah, yeah, and Soylent Green is people...

Animagess | Somewhere up North | 01/27/2005

(1 out of 5 stars)

"When the first minute of the movie involves a bad trick-cut of a woman disappearing during a tennis match, you know you're in for it.



I admit I have seen this movie twice. Not because it was actually a good movie- far from it!- but because I felt the need to spread the joy to my friends; the joy that is Tommy Kirk's alien colleague explaining, completely deadpan, how great it would be for their woman-finding mission if one of the candidates was well-versed in sex and genetics, 'both fundamentally and as it applies to space!'



I give this one star because z-movies deserve nothing more. If they are truly classics, as this one's title suggests, one star is a badge of honour. MNW does not dissappoint in the cheese department and I was cackling out loud through most of it (and howling by the climax).



WARNING: Lots of stock footage here, folks. Many Amazon viewers have mentioned how completely boring this movie was, most of which was due to a tiny tic in the director's brain that must have repeated to him over and over: "I've got ten minutes of footage of a plane taking off, and by gum, I'm going to USE it!!"

The premise, title, acting, plot and dialogue completely make up for this in my opinion, but feel free to fast-forward through the following scenes:

-The strip-tease that isn't really

-Hypnotization! (actually all the hypnotizing made me want to fall asleep)

-Another strip-tease

-A large part of a football game

-Any scene with a plane



The sad thing is, there is some sub-decent acting and intruiging symbolism buried under all the nonsense and wonderfully horrendous exposition. However, the plot goes all over the place and can't decide whether its own characters are rapists, lechers or just lonely, and ends up being all three at times(creepily enough).



Yes, it might be a little slow in patches, but those priding themselves on B-movie stamina should definitely take this one for a ride. All the elements are here: Laughably quotable dialogue, wooden acting, bizarre views on sex (all the more intruiging considering the lead, Tommy Kirk, was ousted from Disney for being supposedly gay), questionable science, misplaced 'drama', clumsy editing, bizarre leaps of logic not seen since 'Plan 9', huge gaping plot holes, bad special effects, incredible amounts of pure Swiss cheese and a phrase to rival that of "Soylent green is people" in terms of yelling value.



This one is golden. And having to fast-forward the nude-less so-called strip-tease just makes it funnier.

"

PATHETIC -- You Have Been Warned.

- Durrkk | Ohio/PA border USA | 10/20/2004

(1 out of 5 stars)

"I picked up "Mars Needs Women" recently but wish I would have checked the negative Amazon reviews before doing so, because this is a REALLY bad movie, and not in the good way.



Some movies are technically bad but fun nevertheless and highly entertaining. "Village of the Giants" is an excellent example of this (some would cite "Plan 9 from Outer Space" as another good example but I disagree; "Plan 9" is not so bad it's good, it's so bad it's BAD!). "Village of the Giants" possesses a wealth of great scenes highlighted by quite a few cute girls; it is therefore very worthwhile.



"Mars Needs Women" would seem to be a movie of the same caliber for a few reasons: 1.) The name itself, 2.) the backcover description: "WARNING: Sex-Starved Spacemen on the Prowl for Bodacious Babes!" (which, of course, gives the impression that the flick will be full of bodacious babes), 3.) the casting of Tommy Kirk, who also stars in "Village of the Giants," and particularly 4.) the casting of Yvonne Craig.



The fact that Yvonne stars in "Mars" was the clincher for me to pick it up. Unfortunately Yvonne doesn't really appear until 45 minutes into the picture (!) and you don't ONCE see her dressed in those alluring, skimpy, tight costumes that she wears in "Batman" as Batgirl or in Star Trek's "Whom Gods Destroy."



Is the film worth picking up to catch a few nice glimpses of some other notable 60's babes? Unfortunately no. A few scenes depict a Martian ogling a cute stripper, but these scenes are certainly not worth buying the movie for (or investing your time).



As for the production, sets and directing, you'd see better filmmaking by simply watching an episode of "I Dream of Jeanie." Not to mention that the dialogue is atrocious and the storytelling dreadfully boring -- filled with numerous scenes of stock footage. In fact, in the first half hour you would think that the paging speaker at the Airbase is a starring cast member.



I admit that I laughed out loud a few times because of how godawful this stinker is, so it may be worthwhile for this alone; other than that AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!"

Like watching paint dry...

Michael Vanier | Pasadena, CA | 08/15/2004

(2 out of 5 stars)

"... except that I think that I'm being unfair to paint. There are movies like Plan 9 From Outer Space that are so bad they're good. There are movies like Monster-a-Go-Go that are so bad they're simply torture. But Mars Needs Women is a whole new kind of bad: it's a movie which is so incredibly boring that you'll need some heavy stimulants to stay awake through it all. This film is only for the hardest of the hard-core bad movie buffs, and the only reason to watch it is to say that you did. If you're in this category, my advice is to watch it for 20 minutes, do something else more interesting (you won't have any trouble finding something -- even staring off into space would do it) and then watch another 20 minutes etc. until you're done with it. I give it one extra star because I actually liked what little plot there was -- properly edited, it would have made a decent half-hour movie. I sleep now."

Old yeller's owner and batgirl in a space age love story!!!

jason a. miller | seattle wa usa | 09/06/2001

(5 out of 5 stars)

"This movie is so much fun. I didn't think I was going to be able to get through it, when I sat through 16 minutes of stock footage from the US airforce. I couldn't turn away! it just gets worse and worse! Men glare at hot young things and strippers twirl, but the fun is just beginning, cuz MARS NEEDS WOMEN!!!
The only thing I didn't like about the dvd itself is that the transfer is pretty bad. Not up to par with the only midnight movies that have been released in the series. It is only in pan and scan which for once is fine with me, cuz I didn't need to see the ample body parts of the women all over the screen. There wasn't a trailer. I think I will watch it again tomorrow and see if I can sit through it again. No matter what I tell you, you have to see it to believe it."