Put this "Dog" to sleep!
glennct | NYC Burbs | 09/13/2002
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Maybe you SHOULD see this wretched excuse for a film... after all, where else can you get such succinct lessons in how to make a bad film, AND offend your target audience? Wally White's pathetic take on "What I Did Last Summer" is not only boring, self-absorbed and poorly done... it's also offensive as hell. He's trying to be funny here, but what White doesn't realize is that he encapsulates just about everything that's wrong with gay society. Since when is picking on others publicly (a la the jaw-droppingly insensitive "Square State" scene) humorous? How much worse is it that this smug little twerp is aiming it at his own people? This isn't just a rotten film, it's mean-spirited and Wally White doesn't even know it."
The Title Says it All...
Hank Drake | Cleveland, OH United States | 01/18/2004
(2 out of 5 stars)
"Lie Down with Dogs ran through the independent film circuit in 1995, and was forgotten as soon as the run was over, with good reason. The plot centers around a shallow, self-centered gay man who can't handle the pressure of summer in New York, and decides on a whim to spend the summer in Provincetown, Massachusetts.First of all, this film is not an honest portrayal of Provincetown--except for during the last reel when the main character, Tommy, takes a bike tour through the nature trails with Ben--who appears to be the only decent guy in town. In reality, Provincetown is much more idyllic than is shown here-and there are lots of nice, genuine people there. Not that the town doesn't party hearty, but that's far from the only reason gays & lesbians choose this as a prime vacation spot. (The town's extensive history as an artist's colony isn't even mentioned.) Matters are not helped by the fact that the film, which takes place during the summer, was shot in the off-season when the streets were nearly empty.Second, the movie is a slanderous portrayal of gay life. In one monologue, White belittles Longtime Companion, but that film is far more realistic, moving, and does greater service to the gay community. Wally White is obviously the primary force behind this film, since he's listed as producer, writer, director, and lead actor. So the blame for this drivel falls entirely on his shoulders. As producer, it's astonishing he was able to secure funding for his poorly written tripe. As director, he can't handle a camera, nor does he have an eye for cinematography--Provincetown looks better in the photos I took during a trip there. As actor, he gives the worst performance in the film. It says something about the overall quality of this film that, with the exception of Randy Becker (who was already an established stage actor by the time this film was released) none of the other principals has been heard from since--including Wally White. I can't help the feeling that Wally White's primary motivation in making this film was to act out love scenes with numerous good looking guys who would be out of his league in real life.Two stars due to the fact that this movie at least inspired me to visit the real Provincetown."
FLEA-BITTEN
Edward Aycock | 07/20/2002
(1 out of 5 stars)
"This is the gay filmmaking at it's shabbiest and most incompetent. Every moment of this film is a nightmare of mind and nerves. I was unable to watch more than fifteen minutes at a time--I was so stupified that I had to take breaks. The only redeeming quality of this film is that it's easy to point out who's responsibe for this atrocity: Wally White. He not only stars in this film, but he wrote, directed, and produced. Appearantly, the only thing he didn't do was cater and pour coffee. That's a blessing, cause if he did that as badly as he did the rest, everyone else in this film would have gotten food poisoning. The "story" is about a young gay man from NYC who goes to Provincetown, MA looking for romance and happiness. White plays the hero, and gives a truly annoying performance. His obvious belief that he's an attractive and compelling presence makes it even worse. With his whiny, grating voice, bulging belly, and embarrassing dialogue, he has the romantic charisma of Gilbert Gottfried and the sex appeal of Barney the Dinosaur. It's no wonder that he can't find romance in NYC, and when he gets propositioned by a hot gym buff, it's like watching science fiction. He looks for work as a houseboy, and stumbles in and out of yawn-raising misadventures. You won't care. Everything else about this film is also awful. While the setting (Provincetown) is a beautiful, lively place in real life, it's photographed so badly that you'll think it's a coastal slum. The sound is poor and scratchy, and the co-stars behave like relatives in someone else's home movie. Also, the choppy editing causes lapses in coherance. But none of that takes away from White's irritating screen presence, and his determination to be the center of attention. Even during quiet and sentimental scenes, he tries so hard to upstage everyone else, he treats his co-stars like boxing opponents. And when he does close-up monologues with the camera, you'll wish you had darts at your disposal. I don't know what Wally White has done since making this film. Hopefully he holds down a job that has nothing to do with making movies."
HORRIBLE
Hank Drake | 12/20/2001
(1 out of 5 stars)
"This, without a doubt, is the worst movie I have ever seen. It is incredibly bad. Moreover, the cover -- showing nice looking men frolicking -- is very misleading. None of the actors are physically or emotionally attractive. I think my 2 year old nephew could have put a more coherent movie together."