Search - Heartstopper on DVD

The perfect reason for a mute mass murderer

Captain Insanity | NY | 11/08/2006

(2 out of 5 stars)

"The whole reason I bought this movie, when I saw it in the store,

was because it starred Robert Englund (for like about 20 minutes, mind you)

and the cover art seemed pretty sick.

I flipped it over, read the back, and was still interested.

Supernatural Mass Murderer on a killing spree

(ripping peoples hearts out and consuming them for sustenance)

in a locked hospital.

Sounded awfully cool, especially for a gorehound like myself.

I paid the 15 bucks, brought it home,

and then for about 90 minutes, cursed myself

for not waitng for a review on this unmemorable waste of my money.

So here it is.



Likes:

A couple of buckets of blood,

a few hearts,

an open chest cavity,

Robert Englund (although not even he could save this film from the depths of the bargain bin),

and a Pac-Man T-shirt.



Dislikes:

Continuity be damned.

In one scene the killer(Lets just call him Captian Cliche)

has sulfuric acid poured over his head,

and you see his flesh bubble, you see it.

Two Scenes later, TWO SCENES LATER! (without eating any hearts)

Captian Cliche's back to his normal crazy self.

In another scene the heros clothes are soaked in blood,

in the next scene not so bloody.



The Killer in this movie is what ultimately killed it for me. (no pun intended)

He just wouldn't shut up.

Cliche' after cliche'.

EVEN WHEN THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE AROUND!!

He just spouts them off to himself.

Theres a reason Leatherface, Jason Voorhies, and Michael Myers are feared and admired.

They know when to shut up and be menacing.

Everybody else in the movie was fine.



Some of the special effects at the begining were silly.

(Flesh shouldn't burn like paper)

Although the moving tatoos were interesting.

The ending was equally as silly.

SPOILER: A hurricane comes and sucks him away.

I'm not kidding, a hurricane.



If it wasn't for the two heros occasionally cracking jokes,

the brief time with Horror Legend Robert Englund,

and varios disenlodged organs.

I would have all but hated this movie, hence the extra star.



MORAL OF THE STORY:

The Fastest Way to a Man's Heart is Through his Chest."

Ummm alright...

M. Nelson | 04/21/2007

(2 out of 5 stars)

"Wow, i was expecting something much more...i think that the plot was solid and the idea was good but i got annoyed mor then anything at all of the missing parts...for one they tell you who dies...the actors are horrible...the black kid (nathan stephanson i think) acts like he's a 10 year old white kid, the killer talks to much and besides the one very gory part it was boring. like i said before the plot was good (in a hospital a ton of people to kill...but no there was 6 people to kill even if they kept the horrible acting the killer talking so much and they tell you who dies then if they had the hospital full of people like they usually do that would hav mad eht efilm ten times better...oh yea and then it just ends and you dont know what happned and you dont care becaseu it ended so abruptly."

SHERIFF FREDDY KRUEGER

Michael Butts | Martinsburg, WV USA | 11/14/2006

(3 out of 5 stars)

"Did you ever think you'd see the day where Freddy Kreuger would play a heroic sheriff? Wait no more. Robert Englund has a supporting role as the sheriff in this average gorefest. Englund's sheriff watches as dreaded serial killer Jonathan Chambers (a creepy James Binkey) is electrocuted and hauled off to the morgue for his autopsy. Along the way they pick up a suicidal teenager (an effective Meredith Henderson) who is in the ambulance with Chambers and sees he is not quite dead.

Once we get to the hospital (another one of Hollywood's deserted hospitals), Chambers goes on a killing rage to locate Henderson, whose body he plans to take over and continue his killing spree, apparently in some bizarre deal with Satan. Director Bob Keen keeps the tension pretty intense and even though the tornado conclusion comes out of nowhere, it does have a certain eeriness, with the predictable "Oh, no, I'm not safe" ending. It's not the best of its lot, but it's viewable."