Botched, indeed
Sibelius | Palo Alto, CA USA | 07/07/2008
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Allow me to be frank - this is a terrible film. The most interesting aspect in viewing this stinker is observing how consistently the film degrades from 'full of promise' in the first 15 minutes to bad and then absolutely dreadful by the time the end credits roll. As a further insult to injury (or perhaps a blessing in disguise?) this disc contains ZERO extras - not even a cheezy 10 minute making-of featurette."
You need to be REALLY drunk...
Ravenskya | 07/13/2008
(3 out of 5 stars)
"This movie starts out really well, I was excited, interested and engaged... then it sank into a quagmire of trying too hard to be funny. The opening felt like your typical mob/crime film then we get to the horror/comedy part and everything went so way over the top that it felt like a student film.
The premise, a couple of thieves steal a golden cross at the request of their crime boss, then during their getaway get stuck in the building with a serial killer, some crazies, a loony security guard, and an assortment of whiny bad guy fodder. True some of the gore was GREAT, I wasn't thrilled with one of the decapitation scenes, but the rest of the gore was spot on. The problem was that the premise got old quickly and the movie starts becoming reminiscent of that old 80's film "Clue" with Tim Currey. Now I loved "Clue" but it also didn't contain a random man dressed up like a barbarian, wielding a sword through the hallways of a high rise.
I have heard this movie compared to "Fido" "Black Sheep" and the like, but sadly I feel that this movie attempted to go there, but never made it. Rather than funny, it was silly, and failed on all attempts by the time you get to the end.
Now I suppose if you are REALLY drunk, this movie might be funny. Other than that go for something else."
The title says it all
David West | Hebron, KY, United States | 08/25/2008
(1 out of 5 stars)
"The film begins with an almost Fargo-like series of mis-steps and mishaps that actually grab your interest. Unfortunately, that's as good as it gets. The joke, if you get it, begins with a Mr. Grozny (a fish-out-of-water Sean Pertwee...wouldn't Dr. Who just turn in his grave?) inviting the idiot who blew his last job to steal some "family heirlooms" in the penthouse suite of some Moscow high-rise. What they showed could well have been the former Lubyanka.
Recruiting the aid of a couple of Russian morons, probably too closely related, the theft goes from bad to worse, as does the film. Stupidity abounds with the cast slowly being slaughtered by some whirling dervish and so on.
Comedy and horror really don't mix too well and you have to be careful about your mix. Severance got it absolutely right and The Cottage comes in a close second. Here, it's like oil and water, one or the other.
This wretched experience brings the Keystone Kops to a new level of sophistication.
For what it's worth, "grozny" (pronounced "grozh-nyee") means "terrible." As in "Ivan the Terrible.""