Search - Black Dahlia on DVD

Oh for the love of pete...

Robert P. Beveridge | Cleveland, OH | 01/16/2010

(1 out of 5 stars)

"Black Dahlia (Ulli Lommel, 2006)



So you want to make a movie about the Black Dahlia, and you want to make one that's even worse than Francis Ford Coppola's 2006 abortion on the same subject. And oh, yeah, you want to release it the same year, so everyone and their mothers knows it's worse. Who ya gonna call? Ulli Lommel! The master of plotless dreck comes through again. I really can't believe this is the same guy who made Tenderness of the Wolves.



The movie takes place in the present day, and the police are investigating a series of murders that have a striking resemblance to the Black Dahlia killing sixty years ago (except for a few minor details like, oh, the way the body parts are placed, what's severed, that sort of thing). There's no mystery about who the killers are, since we see most of the murders as little set-pieces throughout the film. They're headed up by Brianne (Lorielle New, who has the most annoying laugh in the universe), a lovely young thing who we see doing a lot of military stuff in flashback (this is never explained). She has two big, silent partners who actually do the dirty work, after which they all do a little dance and then go place the body parts for the cops to find. They never actually change clothing, though, so they're traipsing around the streets of Los Angeles while still drenched in blood and no one notices. Well, okay, in Los Angeles, maybe no one would notice.



As has been increasingly common in post-Boogeyman Lommel flicks, everything about this turkey is painfully bad. The acting is terrible, the script is worse, Lommel's direction seems as if he shot the whole thing while blasted on bargain-basement kamikazes. The entire movie makes no sense whatever. Gets half a star because I did finish watching it, and because there's some entirely gratuitous nudity.

"

Keep moving nothing to see here

Julian Kennedy | St Pete Florida | 03/19/2010

(4 out of 5 stars)

"Ulli Lommel's Black Dahlia: 7 out of 10. No the score is not a misprint. Yes I'm going to have to use the entire review to explain this grievous lack of judgment.



First of all this is not the studio release of Black Dahlia. This is a Z budget rip off with decent cover art. Second this is an Ulli Lommel movie who I swear is Uwe Boll's uncle and one of the worst directors working in sub-par serial killer films today. (His Zodiac Killer was one of the worst films I've seen this year) He and his trusty 1985 camcorder have been shoveling out serial killer movies the last few years and he apparently has some compromising pictures of Lion's Gate executives because they keep releasing them.



Half the cast is unnecessary, the drunken cop is over the top and one of the main bad guys is Anna Nicole Smith's first husband. The Saw rip-off directing style and three sets location are horrible.



So why the positive score? Somewhere in the first twenty minutes or so the movie becomes so bad it actually becomes good. There is something ridiculously appealing about vivisection, bondage and catholic school girl uniforms mixed in with swing music. Now read that last sentence again if that doesn't appeal to you run far and fast. There is nothing else to see here so keep moving.



Also in the films favor is that the acting isn't so bad it grates on the nerves. (A real risk with zero budget films) The gore scenes are plentiful and done in a Monty Python over the top style. The ladies are somewhat attractive and actually look like real people. (I don't think this was a naturalistic touch by Lomell I just think he couldn't afford better looking plastic woman.) The soundtrack is an excellent combination of catchy monk style classical (think the Conan soundtrack) and 40's style pop tunes. When a pigtailed catholic schoolgirl and two masked guys dance around with severed limbs to a Sinatra tune you simply can't wipe the smile off my face. That's why I liked it. Excuse me while I go seek some help."