My Oh My!
06/20/2002
(1 out of 5 stars)
"Up until now I thought that the made for TV movie with Ted Danson was the worst anybody could do regarding the Loch Ness Monster. This mirky mess takes its place easily, hands down! First place! All the actors are awful, the dialog is beyond laugable and just sad, and the creature...oh that legendary creature! I have seen more realistic looking monsters in video games! It is not even CGI quality. (which has become very overused and overrated lately in cinema) There is nothing wet about the underwater scenes either. The so-called scots in the film are not in the least bit Scottish I am sure. Patrick Bergin is Irish, but even he is unconvicing. One of the greatest mysteries in our world is no longer the Loch Ness monster, instead it is how on earth did this get onto a DVD??"
There is Something in the Loch
Joshua Koppel | Chicago, IL United States | 10/03/2003
(2 out of 5 stars)
"As you can guess from the title, this is a sea monster movie. But this one doesn't seem to know what direction to take. It is almost like there were several script treatments that were jumbled together in the end.The Explorer Channel has funded a study of Loch Ness but the scientist in charge disappears during an earthquake. A new scientist is brought in to finish the story.The scientist is portrayed both as an incompetent figurehead as well as a knowledgeable researcher.The assistant bounces back and forth from complaining about the scientist's boorishness and being even more boorish.The local constable claims that anyone who has seen the monster is a total nut job (even after he has a monster in custody).In the end we wonder if they will run the story or not, and we really don't care.There are plenty of nagging details such as just how many hours can the diving gear be operated, sudden changes in day/night, and places where it seems someone edited out some critical scenes.The underlying concept is one that could have made a great film (I can't tell you without spoiling it) but the odd acting, lousy script, characters with no substance or history, and some very outdated CGI (looks like early computer game graphics) all combine to into one big dud.If you want a better film about Loch Ness, check out the Ted Danson version (Loch Ness)."
Keep This Monster Buried!
Kenneth Wong | San Francisco, CA | 06/13/2003
(1 out of 5 stars)
"What's beneath Loch Ness? Bad computer effects, a Scottish policeman who cannot keep his accent consistent (he pronounces the same character's name "Blair" in some scenes, and "Bly" in others), Scottish landscape that looks too much like North America (but the movie audience is supposed to know it's in Scotland because of the Scottish flags hanging everywhere), and actors and actresses that violate every rule of good acting. This is one of those movies that probably got made because someone has the brilliant idea of combining Jaws (a resort town in denial of the terror beneath the water so it can keep the tourist trade going), Brave Heart (Patrick Bergin's character emerges in Mel Gibson's Celtic war paints), and Moby Dick (one person pursues the Loch Ness monster for revenge) into a single plot. Watch this if you are a film student, and wants to know what NOT to do when directing; otherwise, leave this Loch Ness monster alone, way, way beneath the sea--because that's where it belongs."
Dimension film?? you have to be kidding!
ragebird19 | Lawrence, KS United States | 06/25/2002
(1 out of 5 stars)
"ummm noooo!!! thought dimension films put out good movies but what happened here?? the acting wasn't bad, not my complaint. some divers go underwater at loch ness and as their underwater an earthquake occurs and a fault opens up which releases good ole nessy. then it gets terrible. creature is not only fake looking and terribly put together but they don't even show nessy killing anybody, people just turn up dead? simply terrible, surprised it wasn't rated PG. even the snake movie King Cobra puts this creature film to shame which is really a shame. better look else where for a good creature film. BOA even beats this out. to bad, was looking forward to a good loch ness movie, but this failed very badly!!!!"